Monday, July 26, 2010

Toilet PAPER

I have come to the conclusion that the reason public restrooms use such god awful papery toilet paper is to deter people from doing number two. Sure, the toilet paper works great when you peed, making you feel dry and ready to go on about your business. On the other hand, doing number two and using the toilet tissue supplied by a public place is an atrocity.

Everyone knows public restrooms are not the most attractive daily destinations. But, when you gotta go you gotta go. Why in the world should such a pertinent daily activity be so uncomfertable?

First awful thing is getting the topilet paper off the roll. 98% of the time it comes out one measly little square at a time. Oh how awful that is.Then, when you get enough squares to amount to anything, the abuse on your anus in so uncomfertable you just wanna run home and use your own soft, cushiony Charmin Ultra.

With such an important daily occurance that can be unexpected, it raises the question, "Why do public places use such crap?"
They always insist it is cheeper and less likely to clog the toilet.
In reality, public toilets get clogged because it taks so much toilet PAPER to get the painful job done.
Also, as I personally believe, the public place simply just does not want you to do a number two in their precious good-smelling bathroom.

So far, I have considered carrying my own cushy toilet paper so save myself from the discomfort of public bathroom's toilet PAPER.


emilyxemazing said...

Man, Charmin Ultra would totally clog my toilet, but it's so sooooft. Personally, I like Scott Tissue. It's quite the nice balance. Public toilet paper makes me feel like it would definitely take a chunk of my hair out 'cause it's rougher than sandpaper. Lol. :D

Coloradocasters said...

End the anal abuse!!! This post was really entertaining. Thank you so much.

A Beer for the Shower said...

In my family, we always called it "Clint Eastwood" toilet paper, because it's tough, gritty, and doesn't take any crap.